In a culture still shaped by traditional family blueprints, the path of a single mom by choice stands out not just for its boldness, but for its deep intentionality. Mikka’s remarkable journey—from finding a known donor to navigating two transformative home births—highlights the possibilities of parenting that is both autonomous and deeply connected. Her story affirms a growing truth: motherhood, when claimed fully, can look many different ways.
Reimagining Family: A Tribe, Not a Template
From childhood, Mikka envisioned motherhood not within the confines of a nuclear family, but as part of a primal, cooperative tribe—"like a wolf pack," she says. Her early sense of motherhood was rich with community, intuition, and animalistic wisdom, anchoring her adult choices in a deep sense of self-trust.
Choosing to become a single mom by choice wasn't a compromise—it was a fulfillment of that vision. “I just always dreamed of being a mom,” Mikka shares. “I tend to do things my own way, and this made total sense.” Her known donor process was as thorough as it was intuitive, involving deep conversations, trust-building, and a personalized insemination approach that honored her autonomy and emotional safety.
Navigating Loss, Finding Power
Mikka’s road to motherhood wasn’t linear. She experienced multiple miscarriages, including a traumatic 12-week loss that introduced her to the harsh edges of medical intervention. She recalls being surrounded by strangers, subjected to invasive procedures in a hospital room full of young male residents, and feeling stripped of agency. “I was screaming in pain,” she remembers. “It was horrifying and totally unnecessary.”
That experience became a turning point. It ignited her desire for radical birth sovereignty, leading her to free birth communities and ultimately, to a care model rooted in trust and self-determination. With her next pregnancy, she built a birth team willing to support her without overriding her instincts—a midwife who was willing to step back if needed, and friends who honored her need for space and presence.
Home Birth as Healing: Autonomy, Community, and Joy
Mikka’s first home birth was nothing short of transformative. At 44 weeks pregnant—far past the standard medical thresholds—she was dancing in a birth pool, eating nectarines, and laboring on her own terms. “All I have to do today is give birth,” she recalls thinking. The experience was deeply psychedelic, emotional, and physically intense. Her meticulous birth preparation, from altar arrangements to electrolyte drinks, was matched by moments of total surrender to the primal rhythm of labor.
“I just wanted to be in tune with my body,” she says. “I wanted to catch my own baby, and I did.” That moment—pulling her daughter from the water and locking eyes with her—was a reclamation of the autonomy stolen from her in her hospital miscarriage.
Though her newborn required a NICU stay due to low oxygen levels, Mikka remained grounded in gratitude. “I got exactly the birth I wanted,” she emphasizes, crediting her birth team for supporting her through the necessary medical follow-up without undermining her choices.
Postpartum and the Dance of Duality
Mikka’s postpartum journey embodies a dual truth rarely spoken: it is possible to experience profound joy and grief simultaneously. As a single mom, she wrestled with sadness from a breakup even as she reveled in the delights of her new baby. She speaks candidly about this emotional complexity, normalizing the postpartum emotional spectrum.
And she thrived. Tandem nursing, freebirth, and babywearing with her toddler became expressions of love and resilience. Her entrepreneurial spirit continued to shine—she finalized a wedding cake order over the phone between contractions during her second labor, proving that self-sufficiency and motherhood can beautifully coexist.
Sisterhood and the Sacred Role of Support
While Mikka birthed her babies solo, she was never alone. Her stories reveal the critical role of women supporting women—from her sister lighting candles and heating the birth pool, to a friend arriving unasked with a newborn in tow to care for Mikka’s toddler. These moments redefined what "support" looks like—not professionals taking over, but loved ones witnessing and assisting without intrusion.
When her second baby, Silas, was born in the presence of her daughter Stella, the moment became a symbolic closing of the circle: “She pointed at the baby and said, ‘baby,’ then at me and said ‘mama,’ then at herself and said ‘Stella.’ We both knew it meant: this is our family.”
Redefining Motherhood with Power and Pleasure
Mikka’s birth stories shatter the myth that single motherhood is a fallback. Instead, her journey shows what it means to consciously design family, reclaim bodily autonomy, and mother with fierce joy.
Whether you're navigating birth decisions, healing from medical trauma, or rethinking what family looks like, Mikka’s experience is a beacon of empowered possibility.
If you're inspired by this story…
Explore the full conversation with Mikka on the Born Wild Podcast. Her voice carries the depth, humor, and wisdom that only lived experience can offer.
